Google has released the bots.
And by that, we mean Google just sold off Boston Dynamics the company that designs and engineers all those creepy-looking, terrifyingly capable robots.
After putting it up for sale in 2016, Japanese tech company Softbank finally purchased Boston Dynamics along with Schaft, a company that specializes in creating bipedal robots from Google for an unknown amount.
Now for those who aren’t as familiar with Boston Dynamics’ ~advanced~ creations, the company is best known for its BigDog line of four-legged robots which literally look like big metal dogs and its Atlas humanoids that resemble large mechanical people wearing massive jetpacks.
Basically, Boston Dynamics is bringing sci-fi movies to life, and if you don’t believe us, here are seven of the creepiest videos of the company’s weird-ass robots to chill you to the bone.
Atlas pretending to be a human
Tell me you are not terrified watching this humanoid open the doors of buildings like it’s NBD, walking through the woods, stacking boxes, and jumping unnaturally high jumps. You can’t. This is weird as hell and we are not here for it.
And be sure to watch until the end to see rare and totally normal footage of a human beating up a robot with a hockey stick.
BigDog turned BigBull
Literally titled, “BigDog Weaponized,” this creepy AF video shows the four-legged robot (with bull horns attached) slowly and menacingly trotting towards a “cape.”
BigDog enjoying a day at the beach
These things are walking in water there’s no stopping them! If putting this robotic canine on a gorgeous beach in Thailand doesn’t make it cute, just accept defeat and let us just play in the sand with our real doggos, please.
WildCat out in the wild
Ugh. The only thing worse than BigDog is this jumpy, smoking robotic feline, WildCat. As the fastest quadruped robot on Earth, it moves backwards, and forwards, and gallops which, I’m pretty sure normal cats do not even do and makes people want to scream, okay?
SpotMini wiping out
WildCat is a no, but SpotMini Boston Dynamics’ small dog robot thing is not much better. Skip to 1:28 to watch some scarring footage of SpotMini wiping out on banana peels (how clich) in a house after doing some light chores.
Real dog vs. fake dog
SAVE. OUR. (REAL). DOGS.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYTHING’S FINE
Is this the future you want, people?! Fake Santa Clauses being pulled by trotting robot dogs masquerading as reindeer? Holy heck. What have we become??!